got my baby back

..and she's holding my universe together. 

It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious.

"if I can take part in it by transforming my own consciousness, then someone else's, I'm happy to do it."

"I don't like anything in the mainstream and they don't like me."

"If you don't think drugs have done good things for us, then take all of your records, tapes and CD's and burn them."

"Your denial is beneath you, and thanks to the use of hallucinogenic drugs, I see through you."

"I left in love, in laughter, and in truth, and wherever truth, love and laughter abide, I am there in spirit."

A MESSAGE FOR ALL OF HUMANITY - Charlie Chaplin

1st of May

breathe.

"I can look forward to the things I want to do in my life. Bike, eat, drink, talk. Ride the subway, read, read maps. Make maps, make art. Finish the Gates application. Tell my dad not to stress about it. Hug my mom. Kiss my little sister. Kiss my dad. Make out with Noelle. Make out with her more. Take her on a picnic. See a movie with her. See a movie with Aaron. Heck, see a movie with Nia. Have a party. Tell people my story. Volunteer at 3 North. Help people like Bobby. Like Muqtada. Like me. Draw more. Draw a person. Draw a naked person. Draw Noelle naked. Run, travel, swim, skip. Yeah, I know it's lame, but, whatever. Skip anyway. Breathe... Live."

minä tunnen sinut

not this mind, not this heart.

House Md - Not this mind

over and out.

you won't remember how you made it through

"Sometimes fate is like a small sandstorm that keeps changing directions. You change direction but the sandstorm chases you. You turn again, but the storm adjusts. Over and over you play this out, like some ominous dance with death just before dawn. Why? Because this storm isn't something that blew in from far away, something that has nothing to do with you. This storm is you. Something inside of you. So all you can do is give in to it, step right inside the storm, closing your eyes and plugging up your ears so the sand doesn't get in, and walk through it, step by step. There's no sun there, no moon, no direction, no sense of time. Just fine white sand swirling up into the sky like pulverized bones. That's the kind of sandstorm you need to imagine. 

An you really will have to make it through that violent, metaphysical, symbolic storm. No matter how metaphysical or symbolic it might be, make no mistake about it: it will cut through flesh like a thousand razor blades. People will bleed there, and you will bleed too. Hot, red blood. You'll catch that blood in your hands, your own blood and the blood of others. 

And once the storm is over you won't remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won't even be sure, in fact, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm you won't be the same person who walked in. That's what this storm's all about." 

— Haruki Murakami - Kafka on a Shore

the whole world seems depopulated

"Something happened and you shut her down and you guys never got passed it. That's okay, she's a rolling stone, she bounces. But you're about to do the same thing to me and I mate for life."

note to self :

"For most of my life I have had only one aim ; to self-destruct, but once, just once, there was a moment when I wanted to be happy. It's pathetic, I'm ashamed to admit it, but once I felt the tawdry desire to be happy. And this, as I have learned , is by far the surest path to self-destruction."